The majority of us, at some point or other, have probably had some sort of hang up about the way we look. We all have the ability to be our own worse critic and I know I have definitely experienced this in the past. For me I have these little fixations which may last for a few weeks, a few months or even a couple of years. Eventually I seem to get over them or move onto the next thing but at the time it can be quite obsessive. For instance, when I was younger I had this weird thing about my nose. I thought that it was too wide from the front view and that when I smiled it made me face look horrible. Totally irrational I know, but as an 11-year-old kid I found myself constantly looking at other peoples noses and at photos of peoples noses when they smiled and comparing to mine. A bit obsessive right?

Since then I’ve had mini fixations on my legs, my under eye bags, feet and most recently my teeth. The eye bags occasional still annoy me and the teeth thing is definitely still a bit of a hang up. I recently went through the process of having clear aligner braces, and whilst my teeth are now lovely and straight, they aren’t as white as I’d like. I’m going to save the low down on my teeth for another post, as I know a lot of people have said they want to know about the braces I had fitted, but I just wanted to touch on it briefly in this post as well. My point being is that we all have our hang ups, no matter how big or small they are! But, the point of this post is that I’m slowly learning to love the skin I’m in and trying to overcome these silly obsessions and fixations.

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Hat- ASOS (Linked Similar)

Top- Missguided

Skirt- Missy Empire

Bag- ASOS

Sunglasses- Ebay UK

Doc Martens- Urban Outfitters

For me personally, I do attribute a lot of these issues to the media. When I was 11 and didn’t like my nose, social media didn’t really exist (other than maybe Bebo and Myspace), but there was still a standard of beauty defined by magazines and TV. More recently, the rise of social media has contributed hugely to the issue. It seems every Insta girl has the perfect face, the perfect body, the perfect life etc, but how real is this? I think for me as I’ve grown up I’ve learnt not to be bothered by the images in magazines as I know that they are largely photoshopped and touched up, so in my head it’s not really real. But with social media I’ve always thought people would be more genuine, because well you know, they’re just normal, real people, right??? Well, how naive was I?! It was only when I started getting into blogging and actually attempting to edit my pictures (still working on a good technique for that) that I realised there are so many apps about where you can literally change every aspect of your face/body. From smoothing over your skin, whitening your teeth, plumping up your lips and tightening in your waste, it’s all now possible! It genuinely blows.my.mind. As soon as I became aware of these apps, it’s now so obvious to spot when your favourite ‘Insta girl’ is using them, and for me it’s totally changed the way I now look at those images. I find it upsetting that girls feel the need to alter pictures of themselves that much to be a version of themselves which is sometimes unrecognisable, it’s upsetting that they don’t feel comfortable enough in their own skin to keep their images transparent and it’s upsetting that other people out there may be idolising them and getting hang ups about the way they look, because of a falsely advertised image on social media.

I totally disagree with using these types of apps and you will most definitely NOT catch me altering any part of my face/body in this way. I want to be true to myself and own any perfections I might have. Generally, I’ll only ever alter the brightness/contrast/sharpness etc. of the photo to enhance it. But what’s interesting and the reason why I wanted to write this post, is now I’ve had this sudden ‘realisation’ I’m starting to care a lot less about my imperfections and insecurities. I feel like I’m learning not to care as much, in a direct reaction against all of the girls that seemingly do. Because those people’s images aren’t real and I want mine to be. It’s easier said than done not to care and I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I’m just learning to love my body a bit more, because we only get one right?

There are also some aspects of your body that no amount of work in the gym or cosmetic surgery can change, so it’s worth learning to love them as they are, like your feet (as mentioned at the beginning of this post as one of my insecurities). I’m 5ft 3/4 and have always been pretty petite, but ever since I was a lot younger I seemed to have had feet which were rather on the big size for my height. Before you go ahead thinking I’ve got giant size 10 feet, I’ve not, they’re only a size 6, but I was constantly made to believe growing up that I had ‘big feet’ for my height. I’d get, mainly friends and co-workers saying the whole ‘Ohhhh you’ve got big feet for your size, I didn’t expect you to be a size 6, ohhhh I thought you would’ve been a size 4/5 and those shoes make your feet look massive’ and all this without a doubt led me to have a bit of a complex about it. I’d purposely avoid buying any shoes which were slightly tight as a size 6, because I didn’t want to buy a size 7 and I’d avoid certain shoes because I thought they might make my feet look even bigger. This brings me on to the shoes I’m wearing in this post. I’ve always wanted a pair of Doc Martens, well for a good 5 years at least, but I was always concerned their rather chunky style would make my feet look big. So I purposely avoided trying on or buying a pair for this reason, but recently, with my new found ‘love your self’ sassy attitude, I decided that I DIDN’T CARE anymore. Why should nasty comments stop me from buying and wearing something I really wanted? Simple answer, it shouldn’t.

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Now I know me having a complex about my feet is seriously a first world issue. But I just wanted to highlight it to further show that we all have our own hang ups and insecurities. We all find it hard at times to love every single thing about our body. But I want you to ask yourself why this is? If it’s because you’re comparing yourself to enhanced images on social media, to celebrities in magazines and on billboards or because petty people have made stupid comments to you in the past… please stop. At risk of sounding a bit cringe, we are all beautiful and unique, no two people are the same and we should all learn to love ourselves that little bit more, because we’re awesome. I don’t think it’s an overnight process and I know I definitely don’t wake up feeling like a Greek goddess every day, but I’m getting there. I’m smiling in photos and posting them on Instagram, even when I don’t like the level of whiteness of my teeth and I’m buying shoes that I love and not caring in the slightest if they make my feet look ‘big’.

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We all have our journey of self love to take, but for me learning to care less what other’s think and instead focussing on how I feel and my happiness, is the way forward. I’ve probably missed out 101 things I wanted to say in this post, but I hope for now you might be able to relate to some of the issues I’m talking about. If you have any handy tips for self love and confidence, please share them below in the comments. It would be amazing to hear what issues you’ve had and how you’ve overcome/are overcoming them! and remember…love the skin you’re in.

Until next time,

Robyn

x

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14 Comments

  1. February 22, 2018 / 8:47 pm

    I switch constantly from one extreme to the other, between “I am an amazing, bold, smart funny awesome human” to “I fail at everything and will never bee gokgokd enough and I’m an ugly moomin whale”. On a regular basis, sometimes within the space of an hour!

    • robyn
      Author
      February 22, 2018 / 9:10 pm

      It’s so easy to do that isn’t it! I definitely have those days, but you are amazing, smart, funny and awesome so never forget that! xx

  2. February 23, 2018 / 12:41 am

    I could relate so much to this post, and I think most people can! I think that, as sad as that may sound, comparing ourselves to others is part of our nature and the constant pressure of looking perfect and the portrayal of perfection on social media definitely increase that aspect in us… but I guess we all just have to find peace with the way we look at some point and learn to embrace our flaws instead of hating and working against them!

    xx, Valeria
    http://www.perfectblvck.blogspot.com

    • robyn
      Author
      March 2, 2018 / 4:31 pm

      Couldn’t agree with you more girl! Xx

  3. February 23, 2018 / 10:02 pm

    Thank you for sharing your insecurities and how you deal with them! I’ve always been very insecure about almost everything (and I totally recognise this weird playing tag of things to be obsessed about), however recently I’ve become more ‘relaxed’ and happily go outside and walk the dog without wearing no makeup (which used to be a big no no, in case people could see the ‘real’ aka ‘ugly’ me). But now out of nowhere I’ve switched a button and somehow don’t find it problematic… and I honestly can’t fathom how or why my attitude changed, but it apparently did (probably old age haha!).

    You’re absolutely right how we all know how images in magazines are manipulated, but how most of us still innocently assume social media is real. By pointing this out more and more I think will help tremendously. Also more people who like you said want to create real content instead of photoshopping themselves away…

    Love,
    Dominique

    http://www.fashionedbypluche.blogspot.com

    • robyn
      Author
      March 2, 2018 / 4:40 pm

      Hey lovely! Thankyou for sharing your own experiences and I’m so glad you liked the post! I’m definitely trying to become more relaxed and I can tell this is helping! Xx

  4. February 24, 2018 / 4:24 pm

    Loved this post Robyn! I felt like you were reading my mind. It’s so easy to get sucked into the perception of ‘beauty’ we see on social media. I have those days all the time, especially since I’m the opposite of ‘tall, blonde and thin’. But you just have to say, fuck it, we’re all beautiful in our own ways! xx

    amerzwithlove.com

    • robyn
      Author
      March 2, 2018 / 4:43 pm

      Thanks lovely so glad you enjoyed the post! So easy isn’t it?? But I totally agree and you are absolutely stunning! Xx

    • robyn
      Author
      March 2, 2018 / 4:51 pm

      So glad you liked the post! Xx

  5. March 4, 2018 / 4:18 pm

    Such a great post and important topic! I’ve definitely been there too – comparing myself to the people on social media, only to realise that even though they are ‘more real’ in a way, they (just like me) mostly share only the good things. I don’t alter my appearance when editing, but I’m well aware that I only share the best parts and photos. Just like everyone does I guess. And once I realised this and stopped comparing myself to other people 24/7, I’m so much happier and relaxed! We’re all human, and we can never truly know what goes on behind the scenes (i.e. the Instagram/blog life) 🙂 xx

    • robyn
      Author
      March 5, 2018 / 10:41 pm

      So glad you liked the post! It was a more difficult and personal one to write so it’s great to get positive feedback.YES, definitely agree with everything you’re saying, everyone shares their ‘highlight’ reel, we’re all guilty of doing it, so it’s so important to step back and remember that! xx

  6. March 24, 2018 / 8:02 am

    Robyn this is a gorgeous piece of writing and so true! We have so many editing tools at our finger tips that it’s all to easy to alter ourselves for a photo, but is that really being true to ourselves! This writing is so honest and raw although it does make me sad to hear the things you dislike about yourself as you are gorgeous! And totally rocking those DM’s 💕💕
    http://www.pagesfrombeth.co.uk

    • robyn
      Author
      March 24, 2018 / 9:41 pm

      Thankyou so much Beth! definitely it’s so easy to do that and I think because so many other influencers and bloggers do we feel at times that maybe we should too! But I never want to feel like I’m not being myself. You are honestly too kind, thank you for your lovely comments! xx

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